Finding Sanctuary Within: Introduction

My Journey from Trauma to Transcendence

We all have trauma. We all need to heal.

For those who suffer from trauma
and have lost their connection with their deepest self,
there is a way home.

Introduction

I am a survivor. I survived a home invasion, having my life threatened with a gun to the back of my head, and sexual assaults. I survived childhood psychological abuse, neglect, and isolation. I survived adult traumas. I’m a survivor who wants to help other survivors.

I am an integrative holistic coach—one with a unique perspective on the psychology and physiology of trauma, a perspective brought about through professional training and extensive research, but, most of all, through personal experience.

I am a musician—a singer, instrumentalist, and producer of multimedia musical productions. Music is the greatest healer of all; it is the reason I am alive—literally and figuratively.

I am a writer—both non-fiction and creative. Writing helps me make sense of the world, of my struggles, of my questions. It allows me to offer healing practices, clarifying insights, and helpful information to others. It allows me to make life more gratifying and fulfilling for others—at least that is my hope. It allows me to reach people around the world whom I might never have the chance to meet. I always write now with the intention of healing, educating, and enlivening—for others who might be suffering or who might be helping others who suffer.

Most of all, I am a creative artist and therefore someone who must find a way to create, no matter how difficult the life circumstances. The creative impulse will not let me withdraw—even when I would like to withdraw. It moves me to create, to participate in a less than perfect life with a less than perfect mind and body in a world that often—no, usually—does not accept what I do or who I am. I am committed to supporting others who come from this particular circumstance. My life is dedicated to creativity and allowing it to flourish in all of us. Virtually everything I do comes from this commitment.

The synthesis of these five personae gives me a unique perspective on healing from trauma and the tools to make a difference in that domain.

I wrote this book because trauma is something that many people in the world need to heal from—and the need will continue to grow as trauma continues to explode globally. I want to offer my insight into the resolution or transcending of trauma in the hope that it will benefit at least some who suffer.

Trauma is the issue of our time. It is sure to be the root of many serious challenges, both psychological and physical, that many people in the world face now and will face in the coming decades. Sexual violation, child and spousal abuse, war, persecution, fascism, authoritarianism, torture, cruelty, environmental changes, natural disasters, and more result in a traumatized society. At this time, there’s still not much available in the way of help or healing for those who have suffered or are suffering from trauma.

I’m writing this series because I want to let people know what healing really is and what creates it, particularly with regard to trauma. I want to help them avoid wasting time and money, to prevent them from being harmed, and to help them get what they’re truly looking for. I believe that it’s crucial for people to understand the nature of healing at this point in time, and to recognize its quality. I see that a lot of harm is caused in the name of “healing,” particularly with regard to trauma, partly because there is a lack of understanding about its nature, and partly because many people and organizations are more concerned with the financial benefits of providing a quick, often bogus substitute for healing than the actual manifestation of it.

The reason for that is two-fold: survivors of trauma are often not validated in their suffering by those who could (and should) support them—whether that’s due to others’ lack of understanding of the condition or a lack of empathy is sometimes unclear—and there is not an understanding by those in the helping professions of the nature of trauma that would support effective resources being made available to trauma survivors.

There’s also a need—a requirement, really—for acceptance and non-judgment of those who experience post-traumatic symptoms, something that’s often difficult for those who haven’t experienced such trauma themselves or who have unacknowledged or unconscious trauma themselves, a common condition.

There is growing evidence that many psychological maladies long attributed either to “neuroses” or “chemical imbalances” are instead caused by trauma and its after-effects. Rather than assuming that someone who experiences mental health issues (which I prefer to call “life issues”) has something inherently “wrong” with them, and giving them a pill for the rest of their life which will (possibly, if they’re lucky) suppress their symptoms—along with their life force and personality—and give them sometimes permanent side effects, it might be possible to assist that person by helping them discover an underlying trauma that precipitated the mental distress and resolve it. In other words, it’s quite possible that some conditions we’ve been calling “mental illness,” “psychological disorder” or “chemical imbalance” are simply long-term or delayed reactions to trauma. That would not be good for the bottom line of pharmaceutical companies and their stockholders, which means that there’s a lot of opposition to researching this line of thinking or speaking about it. Some would prefer that trauma sufferers have to take a pill the rest of their lives than actually heal from it.

I’m also writing this book because, while I am encouraged that “post-traumatic stress” is now part of our language and that many people are now familiar with some of its symptoms, few people fully understand what causes the symptoms and, most importantly, how the syndrome can be ameliorated effectively. Most of the literature on trauma that I’ve read leaves me with the feeling that the so‑called treatments that have been tried and are currently suggested are pure guesswork on the part of the clinicians, and that many of them actually make the sufferers feel worse and create new trauma on top of the existing trauma for them.

Fortunately, there is a way to heal from trauma. Those in the business of selling will not be able to profit much from it. It also doesn’t fit the framework of the traditional mental health paradigm of diagnosing and drugging, so the information might not be disseminated or accepted widely just yet. But it is important to speak about it now, when so many are suffering.

I obviously have a different perspective about these things, and with good reason. Not only have I fully lived with the symptoms of post-traumatic stress–that is, trauma—but I have a background in psychology and counseling, together with a life-long study of consciousness, the mind-body connection, and healing. In addition, I have the benefit of having experienced the healing power of creativity and the arts, as well as certain more “esoteric” types of healing, such as consciousness work and breathwork, and the work of those who have researched and practiced those things. The perspective and the approach I arrived at to alleviate trauma comes both from my own experience and from using it successfully with others. As with many things in life, you don’t need to spend a million dollars to do a study to see if it works; you simply have to try it and see if it works for you.

In this book, I offer what I know about what works: what helps with the symptoms, what helps with understanding, and what ultimately heals or transcends trauma and post-traumatic symptoms.

But first, let me tell you my story.

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